I Watched: Hitman

Timothy Olyphant’s outing as Agent 47 follows him as he goes after a Russian politician, while taking on much more than he bargained for.

The look of Agent 47 is right, bald head, barcode and suit with red tie. He hides weapons, uses poisons, wears disguises, is a master of preparation and infiltration plus he has Diana as his handler/ally. In the game there’re clever bits and puzzle-like gameplay that requires some element of planning or thought which keeps the player engaged, obviously being a movie this wasn’t possible.

As a movie, it’s standard action movie stuff. For some reason his own agency are out to get 47 and the police are after him but different government agencies don’t trust one another. The action tries to be cool but isn’t really, it does that thing where it switches camera quite a bit and becomes hard to tell what’s going on. There’s very little reason to care about the characters as one is a woman who’s probably a prostitute and 47 is known for being fairly neutral and emotionless which isn’t helped by the fact that Olyphant just looked bored all the way through the movie. It was quite slow which made it dull to watch as there was nothing different that would really grip the viewer. The last half hour was better but if I hadn’t forced myself to sit through it I wouldn’t have got that far.

There’s a short shower bit for 47 and not-quite full frontal nudity for the woman.

It was a more caring 47 and a bit too movie story with him learning to care for the woman, I wanted more focus on him being the legendary assassin from the games.

Like Olyphant’s expression I was just bored through this one. There are other assassin movies out there so I’d recommend watching any of them before putting yourself through this. They may have done alright by the source material but as a movie it wasn’t good.

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