What makes you most anxious?

People.

I feel a natural discomfort when around people, depending on who and how long it can be to a different level but I’m always anxious around people. A misanthrope is probably the most accurate thing to call me, I don’t generally like or trust other people meaning most of the time I try to keep myself to myself. There are a few people that hit that sweet spot of being a positive but they seem quite rare, I guess I’ve become a pessimist of sorts with my view of others.

I’ve found myself experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety from time to time. Lack of sleep, chest pain, shortness of breath as well as the mental effect of general sadness and a desire to avoid the situation that I knew caused my anxiety, that was just thinking about having to interact with people.

Funny enough, I’ve always been a bit of a loner. Traceable back to my early childhood years I would be left at playgroup with the instruction to go play, from what I’ve been told I often played alone. I grew up having only one close friend at a time and it seems that I just never really wanted people to be a part of my world. I am an introvert who thrives in a peaceful, calm environment where I can think and people cause chaos, representing the unpredictable and unknown that puts me so much on edge.

Life itself is a funny thing because it always throws us curveballs. I found my way into adult life seeking a peaceful office job which I got and eventually – as all things do – it came to an end. I decided that with the opportunity to change I also needed to grow, face my demons, the worst demons possible… people. I went for a job in retail, how better to get used to people than to have to deal with random strangers every day, to never be comfortable. It does break you eventually. There’s no way to change who you really are.

So now the useful bit of this post, how to deal with extreme anxiety:

• Warrior’s Heart – Pure stubbornness and determination will at least keep you functioning throughout the day. Recharge when the task is done.
• Deep Breaths – Knowing when you’re struggling is a big thing, when you feel yourself physically struggling just stop and register what’s happening, take a few deep breaths and regain control.
• Distraction – Put your brain onto something else. I try to use music as it’s easy to hum a tune and focusing on that tune will give the brain enough to go with. Night Owl by Gerry Rafferty is a good one that I find calming.
• Achievement – Make yourself proud in some way, feel progress. People aren’t hard to deal with but it does take effort which is draining. As you’re being drained find a boost for the brain, as basic as the endorphin release of chocolate or conquering a challenge to impress yourself. I’m a gamer, I know how to escape, how to find the right chemical releases when left alone. FromSoftware have massively helped me here. Bring the positive to yourself.
• Seek Help – Sometimes anxiety can be defeated by getting a new perspective, a second opinion or just airing your thoughts. As much as I prefer to deal with my problems myself, nobody else has to.

I know what causes my anxiousness and am forcing myself to deal with it head on, I’m dealing with what I don’t like myself by charging straight at the demons within. I’m not good with people but I’d like to think I’m slowly getting better.

Good luck to anyone else facing issues with anxiety and I hope my words help in some way.